French Fatty

 
 Have you ever noticed how skinny French people are…especially the women! Well, when I decided to embark on an adventure to Paris when I had just turned 18, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and that within three months I would not fit into any of my clothes!
 
The perception of the hot young foreign au-pair is true for the first week you arrive in Paris! Men fall at your feet! Invitations from the father of the family to join him for a late night drink or the male neighbours showing you the local spots. And men popping out of all corners of the subway stations to offer you directions…one who even followed me all the way to the ladies bathrooms!!! But as you stay longer in Paris and the fatter you get the less this happens!
 
Any au-pair I knew in Paris gained so many pounds. It’s the baguettes, the pastries, the pizzas, the cheese and the wine!
 
 So for a skinny person, how did I put on SOOO much weight???
 
I would eat with the kids, steal snacks from the sweet press, (putting chocolate on a baguette) eat at night with au-pairs…stuffing our faces with quatre-fromage pizza. I would enjoy pizza or whatever was in the fridge for breakfast, then feed the kids…snack,  then kids snack time, then my snack time again, then dinner time, then getting on metro time…when I would buy some yummy sweeties at the station…then meet the au-pairs for our bitching session about the crazy kids, controlling mothers and pervy fathers… stuff our faces and get drunk!
  
 THAT’S HOW! And within three months, I had one pair of jeans that fit me..and they did not belong to me, they were my sister’s, which were two sizes too big at the beginning, but by the end of my trip, I was throwing myself against the bed, having a war with my jeans as I tried all sorts of stomach sucking motions to get myself into to the only surviving jeans I had! And when I returned home, my sister almost murdered me, as not only had she been searching relentlessly for the jeans for three months, but when she got them back, they had a massive rip from my fatty self!
 
On one of my last days in Paris, I decided to treat myself and dine solo… ordering my favourite quatre fromage pizza and then devouring the best and biggest banana split. That was probably the last biggest meal I have eaten solo! Now… that would probably last me a few days!!!
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